Wednesday, July 26, 2006

A bad note

There are moments in life I wished I could edit.

My relationship with my Literature teacher, Mrs Sng might have attained a new high ground this year, but I feel that it still isn't enough. These days, she makes me feel really stupid and bad about myself. Unknowingly, she wields tremendous amount of influence on me. Every negative remark she passes about me really slaps me right across the face, and the feeling just isn't exactly pleasant.

I guess I've started on a really bad note with her; frequently sleeping in class, not doing assignments and the like. To compound it all, she thinks I'm a huge hypocrite. Paradoxically, being genuine is one value I prize greatly. So in a way or another, I feel really insulted by her.

The fundamental reason why I feel this way is because I feel I'm underrated - Like indie bands. She might think I'm intelligent and all but being 'intelligent' just isn't enough for me. And today she just had to smack me right across the face by telling me, "Write so much yet cannot score". All of these come in the light of my failure to get into Literature enrichment despite getting similar grades to others in my class who did get into it. I feel it's so unfair, and I can't help but think that I'm just darn useless and have no potential nor flair for Literature; something that never crossed my mind. It's the things she say you see.

"Enrichment is based on Mid-year results and teacher's assessment of your potential."

Well, I guess she must be quite shallow to take my mindless comments seriously. You know the whole fiasco has had such a great impact on me that now I'm reconsidering taking Literature in University. My initial (and stable) plan was to take up Literature in University and teach in a JC hopefully. But right now, those dreams are dashed, destroyed in a mere split second.

But like I've said elsewhere, I'm a fighter, and will not succumb to little setbacks in life. But before I do that, I'd have to recover from it right? And that's exactly something I'm not coping well with. Oh well...

posted@11:54 PM

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